Tennis Life Lessons with Coach Ray Chang
If you can solve it on the court, you can probably solve it in your life
One of my favorite things about tennis is that while you think you’re learning how to hit a ball, the game shows you how you handle pressure, timing, frustration, control, and trust.
This week on You Are The Prize, we sat down with my (Alexis’s) tennis coach, Ray Chang, and talked about how the way we move on the court mirrors the way we move through life.
Here are five lessons from tennis that we can all probably use.
1. Don’t Chase the Ball
This is an especially hard one for me. I’m impatient. I want to hit every shot. Before Ray broke me of this habit, I was sprinting all over the court, swinging at balls that were never really mine.
But when a ball is yours, you don’t have to force it.
It’s the same off the court. We can sometimes exhaust ourselves chasing relationships, opportunities, timelines, or validation that pull us completely out of position. Those aren’t our balls. Let them go.
As Ray says: if it’s aligned, it’s easy.
2. Focus on Fundamentals
In tennis, it’s easy to obsess over outcomes. Did the ball go in? Did you win the point?
But sometimes you hit a beautiful shot with terrible form. Sometimes the right shot misses by an inch. That’s why fundamentals matter: footwork, timing, balance, structure.
The goal isn’t getting lucky once. The goal is building something repeatable that you can trust under pressure.
Life works the same way. Real success doesn’t come from random wins. It comes from knowing why something worked and having a foundation strong enough to return to when things get hard.
3. Real Power Isn’t Force
Most people think power comes from swinging harder. But the best players (not me!) aren’t muscling the ball. Their bodies are aligned enough for energy to move naturally through them.
A lot of us are trying to force our way through life when what we actually need is a solid structure. Because forcing something is exhausting. Real power comes from being grounded enough to move clearly, efficiently, and without fighting yourself.
4. Every Swing Counts
Most of us only feel successful when we get the point. But here’s a nice little reframe: the point isn’t the point! Ray thinks of every swing as a success because it teaches you something.
Every attempt gives you information. Every miss sharpens your instincts. Every failure prepares you for the next opportunity. You are not starting over each time. You’re better with every hit.
5. Nothing Matters
Ray’s mantra is “nothing matters.”
Ray isn’t a nihilist. He just knows that life is a lot more fun when we loosen up. When every shot feels loaded with meaning, you stop playing naturally because you’re terrified of getting it wrong.
But when nothing matters? You stop attaching your worth to every outcome.
The next point—or the next opportunity, job, relationship, etc—always comes. So you might as well enjoy yourself while you’re here.