Re-villaging with Emily Race-Newmark
You Don’t Find Community. You Build It.
There’s a quiet belief that many of us carry. It’s that somewhere out there is the right place, the right person, the right community. And when we find it, belonging will just…click.
Our conversation with Emily Race-Newmark on re-villaging reminded us that belonging isn’t something you find. It’s something you build.
We’ve gotten really good at building independent lives. It’s what we’re told to do, and what we’re so often rewarded for. We’ve learned how to optimize for efficiency, for mobility, for growth, but not always for rootedness or care. And we end up missing connection.
One of the ideas that stuck with us most is the myth of the “perfect place.” The belief that if something feels off—your city, your friendships, your community—it must mean there’s something better out there.
But villages aren’t built by people who are always searching for somewhere better. They’re built by people who choose a place, and then commit to staying. They’re the ones who decide, “this is where I’m going to invest my time and energy,” and they make it work.
That doesn’t mean settling. It means participating.
And it can start smaller than we think. We don’t need to overhaul our lives to begin building community. It can be as simple as:
learning your neighbor’s name
reaching out to someone without a specific reason
inviting one person over instead of waiting for the “right” group
becoming a regular somewhere (and noticing who else is)
Small, repeated actions signal we’re in this together.
It’s easy to slip into the mindset that community is something we’re welcomed into, rather than something we help create. But someone always goes first, sends the text, makes the plan, and keeps showing up.
Over time, that’s what builds something real.
Of course, it won’t be perfect. People will disappoint you. You won’t agree on everything. It might even feel easier, at times, to pull back and start over somewhere new. But what we’re starting to understand is that real belonging isn’t built on ease. It’s built on consistency, and sometimes on repair.
For us, this conversation felt like a shift. Less about asking, Where do I belong? And more about asking, What am I willing to build, right where I am?
Because the truth is, there is no perfect place. There are only people who decide to show up for each other—and in doing that, create something that feels like home.
If this resonates, tell us how you’re building community whenever you are. And if you’re in LA, invite us to join!
To go deeper into this conversation with Emily, tune in to this week’s episode of You Are The Prize. And check out Emily’s work on community-building at This Is How We Care.