How To Do Therapy Better with Dr. Mark Tanabe
Challenge your narratives and get more present
Most of us experience our thoughts as fact. Not something we’re shaping, but a running commentary we accept as true and let color our world.
This week on the pod, we were joined by Alex’s therapist, Dr. Mark Tanabe. Dr. Mark is one of the greats because he helps people identify their narratives and question them. One of the things we got into was the importance of tending to your thought life.
Because the way you think isn’t neutral. It shapes how you interpret what’s happening. It determines whether your life feels like something you’re living or something that’s happening to you.
We hold onto narratives about who we are, what things mean, what’s possible. And over time, they start to feel fixed.
But they’re not.
When you begin to notice a thought instead of immediately believing it, something opens up. A little space. And inside that space is choice. You can choose how you respond, how much weight you give it, and whether you let it define the moment.
Mark put it simply: there’s pain in the past, anxiety in the future. But in the present, when you’re actually here (feeling it in your body, as we like to say), things are often… okay. Even good.
At the end of the episode, he asked us to pause. Listen to the birds chirping outside. Notice the light. Feel the breeze. And ask: is anything wrong with this moment?
Try it. It’s a small question. But it shifts everything.